Candida & Me – Feeding the beast
Just who do I think I am feeding, or what for that matter?
Without properly realising, in fact what has been happening is, I have been way too generous with the fungus that roams my intestines, way too kind to the population of dirty dwellers within, feeding and nourishing them into full throttle. Well no more! It has gotten to the point where at the time of piling in the food, it almost seems I am turning and looking at myself saying, what are you doing, what are you feeding, it’s almost as if something is taking over my ability to not eat these things I know desperately need to be moderated. It is as if something is silently calling me to feed it sweetness, salt and starch in any and every form possible. I do this, have a sugar rush, feel strange and in shock at what I have just done and will many of times fall down with a pain of instant regret and will often literally cry in disbelief. That is totally abnormal and most unacceptable.
Most of the time ‘will power’ doesn’t respond leaving me as a machine overruled. Take charge lady, pull those socks up and own yourself! Just say ‘No’ to over consumption and unhealthy choices. It is totally gross and I have done it over and over and over again, greed, gluttony, waste and overload. Way too many times the amount of this nutrient and a far too many of that one, urrgh! You know this wonderfully fun loop of rapids I appear to have become part of is really getting boring now! I mean how many times do I have to go there and say the same shit! *Fed up* Much change is needed.
Today I bough some Milk Thistle to help with the die-off from the literal taming session that awaits and Monday I stocked up on organic Lemons for my newly discovered preserve.
Tonight I have gone to abysmal levels of starch, salt and sugars…again! This time was one of the scariest though, I guess the only thing I can compare it to is an explosive fungal / bacterial awakening or a case of diabetes. Tonight I experienced blurred vision where it feels as if the side of my vision / eyes has been chopped off leaving the only clear focus towards the centre of gaze (really scary – happened real bad after high amounts of Agave Syrup before), a weird coating to tongue and mouth (really spooky), hardcore grinding of the teeth and jaw (real freaky), bloated belly and wide eyed buzziness and shaking! Uh oh! None of these symptoms I take as healthy signs although all of which I now understand as good ones as they mean my body is telling me something is wrong and with my minds ability to understand it all. I feel blessed to be aware of such a problem and for the ability to be able to fix myself.
Last night I listened to an awesome podcast with a lady named Andrea where she inspired me through her story about her thyroid gland which got me thinking of the many similarities we show. Andrea also raised awareness about working with the problem i.e Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis or Candida Albicans overgrowth instead of battling an illness she puts forward a great case on making it yours and owning it. That encouraged me further to do all I can to work with “my candida’, to tame it down and replenish me.
Using a course of healthy, non-reactive food, natural herbal medicines and probiotics I will get to know the real me the one who can be in control. Surely I can handle myself? Right?
I have come to the conclusion that the starter cause of this overgrowth came from the ingestion of hormone replacement pills from a young age when my body was still growing rather rapidly learning its functions and the impact of environmental factors of life. Also chairs has come from the mass consumption of fructose, starch, artificial sweetener aspartame and dairy produce. I am a 5″2, UK size 6, 25 year old western female, how is it even possible to eat the entire pantry in 10 minutes or a Kilo of Coconut in 5 days?…Candida that is why. Its hungry and appears to know no limits.
It wasn’t until a specialist online Doctor who actually cared about me suggested the Candida overgrowth problem that things regarding my digestive system started to make sense. The Candida overgrowth seems to be the most likely cause of the, IBS, SIBO and Leaky Gut symptoms also. Lovely stuff!
When I heard about the autoimmunity regarding the Thyroid I was like, oh gosh, that is scary! Autoimmunity is extremely lethal and it really needs a strategic and strict approach. After an arduous journey of discovery I have come to a deep understanding as to what the heck has been revealed to me through research, detox and premature reintroductions.
The healing journey is becoming more imprinted within me and the more I get to know it and the more I seek to own my ‘I’, the more the determination can break through causing a successful outcome.
Even if I can only be strong enough to fully achieve the focus for one day after so many hard weeks, months, years then no matter what, I know it can be done and therfore I can do it.
Sometimes it isn’t about just getting on with it’, research needs to be completed, aid from nutrients and tools need gathering and the right mind set all need to come together to be able to say “I’m ready”.
I prayed for the guidance, for my path to be shown to me and this is what I am getting, clearer and clearer the more I follow and pray. It is a beautiful and miraculous way of life and the struggles are easier when one listens and takes heed of the Word.
I think I now have a full plan in place complete with nearly all the methods and tools to reach my goal. I need this to work, it has to, to be a better person for me, for my children, for us as One.
Healthy gut, healthy everything.
in association with stream of consciousness in the now.