This week I too am grateful for the little things as prompted by Mithriluna in this weeks Thankful Thursday challenge. The abundance of little signs from nature reassuring me that no matter what anyone says or thinks, surrendering and following the will of God is the right thing to do. The little things my children do and say make my heart blossom with the richest warmth of joy and nothing on Earth could touch the love these little momrnts create. I am thankful to be a part of such an offering of love to the universe. The little things my Friends do to let me know they are there for me, I will always show my gratitude for and I am thankful that I can be there for them whenever I can be. I love yo know I can help hes someone if ever they need and I am thankful for this, may this continue.
I am also massively grateful for my ‘me time’. I may only get a very small amount of time to chill myself but it is precious and sorely missed when things are beyond me. I cherish the moments of peace with love and it would appear I need to be more thankful for the time I do get to myself. Since having my boys, moving up the country and living as a single mother for nearly two years, really brings a new light to “pulling my hair out”. AAAAND BREATHE! I love my children so dearly and really enjoy their company, I do not wish for them to see me when I am having a ‘bad day’. Their faces fill with a sadness that churns my guts with sickness. Let me gracefully accept everything I am given and let me deal with and overcome the low times better for the sake of my family.
I am a very sensitive person and really like my space. It is hard for me to get relaxing time to myself as I righteously home educate my children as well as healthily home-make, write for Peace and battle chronic depression, stress, anxiety, fatigue and digestive disorders all in a great big cloud of worldly melancholy but I am doing it, and I m getting better in the long run. I know the hardship will not ease until I drastically improve more than to a satisfactory level. Others may get away with that but it is not the case for me! I will admit it can all seem a little too much when it gets to that time of the moon and I do crave a break of long stillness (and a change of scenery) to feel serenity. The fact I don’t get the break I crave and things seemingly just get harder to deal with, says to me that I need to show more gratitude for the time I do get to relax and be kind to myself as these times are evidently precious and are deeply missed when life is without them. It also says to me that I must find serenity deep within especially in the hardest of moments to further strengthen myself to the best I can be. It is just part of the work! My mind’s worry can be torturous and breaking the machine of man is a challenge to say the least. I feel the will is coming and that these hardships are tests I must pass to advance in life to be able to leave a better life for my children.
Wow what a week, topped off with another superb Friday 13th. I’m not a superstition fearing person at all, I think seeing one magpie us a good sign and rabbits tails are much nicer and more useful kept on the rabbit (although I did find one over the common once and kept it), yet everytime it comes to a ‘Friday 13th’ and I am positive about it, it has evidently become apparent that, strangely enough, every single time something bad does indeed happen! Today was very hard and has lead to a string of drastically measured thoughts which are heading towards major changes of action. I thank God for my being able to live a free life when I can. I pray to be able to raise my own children not work for money to be able to pay someone else to do it, anybody can see that is ludicrous! I mean come on, really, slug my guts out to pay and watch someone else bring up my boys? No darn way! That is some twisted crap. These are God’s children gifted to me to look after and I thank God for the time I get to teach them and be in their presence and for the time I get alone to teach myself to therefore be a better teacher to my children. Thank You to my creator for every truth and the knowledge I am gaining and for enabling me to raise my own children. A wise man never goes after war but is always prepared for it. Let the battle dissolve or commence. Embracing the one.
Thank You to all who read this. May your lives be filled with an abundance of beauty 🙂